A Fool For Christ- Jacqui's Faith Journey- Part 2

Hi friends! Today we begin part 2 of Jacqui’s faith journey. I can never get over the confidence and boldness she had after she surrendered. She will tell you her life is ordinary, but I would beg to differ. Enjoy!

During my 20s, I started having curiosities about Jesus and the things of God.  My friends were mostly artistic types, so they were moody and a little more self-involved as young people in the 80s may have been.  To be honest, despite all my confidence, boldness, and all those things, I still had this aching loneliness and a lack of good judgement.  I really was a fool for the world. 

When I met my future husband at work, I discovered he was so sweet, caring, and unflappable.  At times I thought, “What’s wrong with him?”  He was so different, and I was very intrigued by him.   As we started dating, he shared his faith with me.  Initially, it did not have an impact on me because I did not connect it to anything deeper spiritually.  However, what made a difference was his love and his kindness.  We married in our early twenties, and I have to say that God’s grace and His plan were so magnificent.  He brought my husband back to a restored relationship with Jesus, and then He brought me along in my own time.

I didn’t become a believer until I was thirty-three.  I had been going to church to be loving to my husband because he wanted to go.  Like a student, I would sit there, take notes, observe, and listen.  The exposure and the washing of the Word of God over me was transforming me and opening my heart, whether I was aware of it or not. 

At the time, we were attending Calvary Chapel in SoCal.  The church was holding a women’s retreat that I had no desire to attend.  In my mind, I thought, “I don’t have anything in common with these women.”  But my husband begged me to go and even bought me a new little suitcase.  So I went, and the most beautiful thing happened.  The retreat was focused on 2 Corinthians 4.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.       2 Corinthians 4:7 (ESV)

It was about treasure in these earthen jars of clay.  I realized that the person whom these women were speaking of, and the teachers were speaking of, was someone that I did not know.  I could not relate to the love these women had when they were speaking about Jesus.  I was out of my league.  I was entirely uncomfortable because I realized that I wasn’t an unknown to God. 

On Saturday night during worship, while I was plotting my escape to get home somehow, I was captured by the Holy Spirit.  I had a moment with Jesus during a worship song where He said, “You need me.”  I saw my life in these little vignettes and time stood still.  All the things that I really did need forgiveness for and healing from confronted me.  My sin was before me, and I just said “yes” to Him in that moment.

A weight had been lifted.  It was such a release from whatever I had been fighting.  The battle was over.  Now, was I outwardly different and did I tell anyone there that I surrendered?  No.  I kept it to myself because I was one, shocked, and two, I wanted to do it right.  I thought, “Maybe I’ll wait and go forward at church because this couldn’t have just happened!”  But I knew my heart was changed.  My heart was open.  I went from being an unbeliever to a believer in minutes. 

I share that point to encourage pastors, people teaching, and those that are ministering to others.  It is to say, “Hey, sometimes we’re looking for what is invisible in the moment.  Someone may have preached a message, and nobody raised their hand to receive Jesus, but we have no idea what the Holy Spirit has done.”  In the room that day, no one would have known that my life and my eternity were completely changed.  I literally went home a different person. 

I went back to my church, started reading the Bible, and began serving immediately.  I think in my own way I was now sitting at the feet of the Master, and He accelerated a lot of learning for me.  As a brand-new believer, the scriptures that really ministered to me were from Paul.  I identified with his boldness. The things I hung on to were from his epistles.  For example, on my Instagram or my e-mail account it says 3:16.  Most people assume it is in reference to John 3:16, but it is actually in reference to 2 Timothy 3:16, which is “All Scripture is God breathed…”  That was my first anchor. 

My second anchor was 2 Timothy 2:15, which is essentially, “Do your best to show thyself approved, a workman approved, unashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”  Those two were who I wanted to be.  Although I had a long way to go, God was so gentle with me and gave me opportunities to explore that early on. 

After surrendering, it was lonely for a bit.  My friends and my sister, who were not believers, were like, “We cannot handle her.”  I was alone and I didn’t have friends outside of church for about a year.  But God was so good.  He brought me a friend who got saved at the same time as me and she didn’t have friends either!  We became each other’s spiritual buddies/best friends.  We used to call ourselves “The Cherubs of Justice!”

A week after I got saved, I started a Bible study in my house.  I don’t know, who does that?  My friend would come to my Bible study, and we would basically recite everything we took in our notes from our Bible study at church.   Even though that was our teaching, we would have no problem inviting people to come to hear.  There was just such an excitement to do it. 

Months after I surrendered, I remember sitting at a teaching, I think it was from Chuck Missler, that was on something very basic.  It was focused on the lineage of Noah in Genesis.  Chuck shared what the ancient language would be, what these names were from Adam, to Seth, to Methuselah, to Noah.  Each name had a meaning, and when he spoke the meanings of the names it told a story of the gospel.  On some level I said, “Wait a minute, this is all true.”  It was a deeper understanding of the truth of it. 

From that point, I had such a hunger and a love to know more and more about all of God’s word.  It was a revelation.   Previously it didn’t occur to me that the Old Testament was connected to Jesus, but Jesus is the Old Testament and the New Testament.  He is Lord of God. And He’s showing us as much as we want to have and see of Him. 

Another thing that struck me about the teaching was the plan.  There were things that could not be humanly contrived but only supernaturally ordained.  God’s perfection as an organizer of His story and His plan, even in the midst of free will and the mess of all that, was clear.  It really opened my heart even more.

At that time, we were back in the U.S., and I was living the normal California life.  My husband and I had returned from living in Malaysia as a young family.  I was working part time, raising four little children, and was on the PTA at school.  I realized God brought me back there to raise me up and disciple me.  He had a plan even for me.

At Calvary Chapel I was discipled very well by people that were bold in the word.  They were Spirit filled people that were non-religious, in the sense of being legalistic.  Pastor Dave Rosales was an expositor.  There were no bells and whistles, it was just straight teaching and I couldn’t get enough of it. 

My husband was serving in worship, and I initially volunteered for the soundboard.  I thought it was the obvious thing to do since I had a background in theater and arts. In reality, I didn’t know anything about how to mix sound, so it was a little stressful at the beginning.  I also began serving in other ministries at the church.  I started with the dinner ministry and then signed up for the new believers ministry.  That was where discipleship clicked in because I only had seven months of Christianity under my belt.  Regardless, I knew I wanted to help others at a similar stage.

Outside of church, my friend and I decided to start a club at our kids’ elementary school.  We asked our kids, “Would you guys be embarrassed?  Do you want to start a Bible club?”  They were okay with it and somehow the school let us teach a Bible club during lunches once a week.  We would bring candy for the kids, did worship, and even conducted altar calls.  We would have 60 little kids in the classroom, and some would even come forward to receive Jesus.  

During that time, there was a very argumentative family in the elementary school.  The lady was fiery, so we were all scared of her.  She was a wealthy real estate agent in our region, Muslim, and her kids were notoriously naughty.  I knew that because they lived in my neighborhood.  Her kids began coming to our Bible club because they wanted the candy.  Then, one day two of them came up to receive Jesus.  I was not going to deny a child their salvation, so we prayed the sinner’s prayer.

About a week later, on my morning walk, the kids’ mom drove up in her car and T-boned it across the street in front of me.  I had lived in Saudi Arabia, so I understood how serious it was to have led her Muslim kids to Christ.  Even still, I didn’t regret what I did.  As she came out of the car I thought, “This is it. Today’s the day I die.  She’s gonna kill me.”      

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