Amazing Grace: Chris' Faith Journey- Part 1

Hi friends! On today’s Draw Near to Me post we begin the first part of Chris’ testimony. A good friend of mine introduced me to Chris via text. Honestly, at the time I was in no mood to meet anyone because I had just received some hard news an hour before this introduction. I wondered why God was challenging me to do Kingdom work when I preferred to be still and catch my breath instead. However, as soon as I had my meeting with Chris, I was so thankful for the opportunity to meet him. I hope that you all will be inspired by his passion for all that God is doing in and through him. I know I was! Without further ado, let’s dive into part 1 of Chris’ story. Enjoy!

I have always struggled with the idea of sharing my testimony. I’ve gone to classes where they say, “Listen, your testimony is what you were before Christ and then what you are after you got saved.” Since mine never seemed that easy and clear cut, I’ll try to kind of share who I am instead.

I was raised by a single mom going to a Baptist Church in Jacksonville, Florida. My paternal grandparents also went there. Early on as a kid, my grandparents always took me up to the mountains. I was the only grandkid they had at the time.

When I was around 11 or 12 years old, I clearly remember being with my grandparents in this little motel room in the mountains of North Carolina. My grandfather looked at me and said, “Hey, if you died today, do you know if you’re going to heaven?” That was like the Baptist playbook to ask, “If you died today…” Like any kid, I remember saying, “Who doesn’t want to go to heaven?” My grandfather had me pray this prayer and I accepted Jesus into my heart.

When we got back home, I talked to the pastor and did all the stuff you were supposed to do. I went down front, did the profession of faith and also got baptized. Again, you had the “playbook” and you followed it. I don’t think I was just going through the motions though. I remember knowing and feeling like there was a change. Even when I was that young, I had that draw, if that makes any sense.

Although I accepted Jesus, I totally rebelled as a teenager. I was not necessarily going against God as I understood it at the time. I was just being a teenager that got into many, many things I shouldn’t have. I wish I could say I got saved at 12, was in youth camps every summer and did everything God wanted me to do, but I went the total opposite way. My parents were divorced and I only saw my dad every other weekend. It was very tough on my mom to raise me because I really did a lot of terrible stuff as a teenager. Later, I would get what I always call “for real saved”. That was when I was more on fire for God.

There are some people that know their salvation birthdate. They can say, “Oh, on February 12^th, 1988, I gave my life to Christ.” I don’t remember any exact date, but I do know I was 20 when the change happened. That was mostly because I couldn’t wait until I turned 21 so I could drink legally!

I had a friend that I partied with all the time. He knew that I played the keyboard and one day he said to me, “Hey, I know this guy named Mike. He has a little Christian gospel group and they want somebody to play the keyboard for them.” I thought that maybe I should use my talents for a good cause, so I agreed to go meet him. I think music was God’s way of drawing me back to Him.

I met Mike and we played in these little storefront churches in Jacksonville. It wasn’t anything big at all. One night, Mike invited me to check out this small church with him. I don’t remember where it was. There were maybe four or five other people in the service when we walked in. I was sitting in one of those little foldout chairs watching them sing when it hit me. I thought, “Look what they’re doing for God. They’re doing all of this for Him.” Tears started to stream down my face.

There was no one asking me if I wanted to get saved. It was just me and God. It was the Holy Spirit that changed my heart. Unlike how I was first saved when I was younger, this moment crossed denominational boundaries. Not that there’s anything wrong with denominations, but it extended beyond the idea of I’m Baptist and here’s what we do and follow. I didn’t care about the “playbook”. I didn’t care about the way I was expected to do things. I just wanted to learn who God was.

I walked away from that night totally turned around. I was on fire for Christ. I just wanted Jesus. I wanted everything God had for me. I think that was the difference of when I was really born again. I fell in love with God and was not trying to stay within any other man-made boundaries or traditions, so to speak, to be near Him. The Holy Spirit can move however He wants to move to reach you. I no longer had limitations on what I wanted Him to do.

After that night, I began to tell my other friends about Jesus and how He had changed me. I told them that I could not hang out and party with them anymore. We were doing a lot of stuff together and I stepped out of everything.

My old friends were shocked and could not believe it. They were trying to keep everything together as it was, but I did not even want to do the music I was helping them with. It was all secular stuff that no longer interested me. They offered to write some Christian lyrics, but I knew that their hearts were not in it. I told them that I could not do it anymore. I knew I had to do what the Lord wanted me to do. So, at 20 years old, I was born again, saved and loved God.

Mike and I eventually became very, very good friends. We would go down to the riverwalk in Jacksonville and witness to people. One night, the police approached us and said that we could not tell people about Jesus anymore. We were told we could share if people asked us, otherwise we could not say anything. Mike and I left that night so on fire for Jesus. We were like, “Man, we almost went to jail for Christ!” It was almost a celebration that we could have gone to jail for Him.

Even though I loved Jesus, I eventually began to backslide. I started getting into some things that I shouldn’t have done and fell into other worldly things. I think it happened along the lines of the way it does for most people. I started down a path where I walked away from God to do something for a moment and thought I could take care of it. That led to something else. Each time I thought, “Oh, I got this.” Then, the next thing you know, I looked and could no longer see the original path that God had me on.

My mindset was that I was doing everything my own way. The funny thing was that during that time I distinctly remember being at this small church and hearing something very important. The pastor was preaching about backsliding from your faith to the 20 people sitting there. He said that backsliding first starts in your heart. It doesn’t start with your actions. Your heart wanders first and then the actions follow. I distinctly remember thinking, “Crap, I think that’s me.”

Although I still went to church and did the things that I “needed” to do, my heart was wandering. I felt convicted during that sermon, but then I thought, “No, I got this.” Joby, the pastor of the church that I go to now, says that the worst thing a man can say is, “I got this.” But that was me. I kept thinking that I had it. That everything would be fine and I was good.

Eventually I wandered away from even going to church. I missed one week or I decided not to go. Then the enemy puts those things in your head where you think, “Hey, you know what? I don’t like the way they do this anyway. Remember what that guy said to you that Sunday or remember what that pastor said?” We start doing these mental gymnastics about what we don’t like and why we don’t need to be there.

All those thoughts led to bitterness. I think that is a key sign of the enemy. That was the point where I should have thought, “Okay God, this is not you.” I should have taken a step back, but I didn’t do that. The next thing you know I had backslidden into old habits. The path was no longer recognizable.

To be continued.