Hi friends! On today’s episode of Draw Near to Me, we will begin the final part of Travis’s faith journey. For those who prefer to read, today’s content is also posted below. As a recap, in part 7, Travis spoke about how God used a time of deep heartbreak for good. It was a powerful moment. Through the Element26 men’s ministry, the trajectory of many lives has been changed. Once again, for those men that are interested, check out the Element26 website. They hold events in both Tennessee and Florida. You can click the link here Men's Ministry | Element26 Men's Ministry or go to their website at www.element26men.com. I wanted to thank Travis for sharing his powerful story in such a transparent and authentic way. I am truly in awe of all the things that God is doing in and through him. Once again, since this is a man’s testimony, my husband, Jeff, will narrate Travis’s story. If you enjoy this post, please share it with others using the share button below. With that, let’s dive into the last part of Travis’s story. Enjoy!
I wanted to share another important work that God has done. Over the years, He has transformed my personal life. After our third son was born, we got pregnant again with our fourth. Our youngest was diagnosed with autism, so two of our boys were considered special needs children. We had our hands full.
We are currently raising four boys, ages 9 to 19. Our life remains chaotic, with a lot of doctor’s appointments, surgeries, physical therapy, and struggles. Our second youngest is still nonverbal, non-mobile, and gets fed through a feeding tube. His severe disability has not changed. However, through this process, me and my wife, Kristina, have truly grown together.
Although life is much more hectic than it was during those simple years in Charleston, our marriage is now ten times what it was back then. Me and my wife both used to be stuffers, meaning that we used to stuff our feelings down. Because of all the challenges we faced, we really had to come together, communicate, have tough conversations, and lean into Christ. Our faith has absolutely been the key ingredient that’s brought us to where we are now.
Initially, when we had our first child with special needs, the fear of the unknown was one of the hardest parts. We didn’t know what it would look like, what surgeries were needed, or if he was even going to survive. As a parent, you love your kid so there’s always that concern for their future, but the anxiety I used to feel has gotten a lot better. I think the big difference now is that I look back on everything that God’s done for us, and I realize I just have to trust Him. In fact, God has provided in so many ways that I know I can trust him.
There are so many stories I could share about our journey and what God has done. For example, remember when I said I would never build another house when we left Charleston? Well, we built one in TN. It was a God thing. Our previous home in Chattanooga was on the side of a hill. We had to carry our son with special needs upstairs from the basement level, where the driveway was, to get into the house. To get him to his room we had to go up another flight of stairs. As he grew older and bigger, we knew it was going to become more difficult for us to carry him. Something had to change.
To accommodate our son, we began looking for a house that was either one story or had both a master and his bedroom on the lower level. Unfortunately, we weren’t finding anything that met our needs. So, we began looking for a flat piece of property to potentially build on. That type of land was difficult to find in TN since we were in the mountains.
One day, we found a five-acre piece of property that was flat and already cleared off. It was for sale by owner. At first, I wasn’t even gonna look at it because it was so far out of our price range. Eventually, we decided to call anyway and ask about it. It turned out that the owner was a farmer who just wanted to get rid of it. In the end, we bought that five-acre property for less than the one acre lots that we could afford.
As we drew up plans for our house, we considered the things that made it easier to care for our son’s special needs. Those modifications were all included in the proposed design. Then, we got together with our builder to talk about pricing. When we sat down and went over the specs, we discovered that our plan was $70,000 over budget.
We knew we could not afford the house as it was initially designed. So, I held a meeting with both our builder and our architect to figure out what we needed to get rid of to stay within budget. Before we could proceed, our builder laid out a new quote for our original plan. This time it was only $1,000 over our budget. Astonished, I asked, “What have you done?” He said, “That’s what you needed right?” I replied, “Yes.” Then he simply goes, “We’re gonna make it happen.” I did not understand what was going on.
The woman who initially put us in touch with our builder was good friends with him. She also happened to be in a small group with Kristina. One day, my wife mentioned to her the story about our builder and how the price of our home had been drastically reduced. Kristina told her that we did not know how he was doing it. The woman told her that our builder knew our family situation. As a result, he decided to knock almost $70,000 off our home to take care of us.
Although our builder challenged us to help out in different ways, we continue to be amazed at what he did for us. It still feels unbelievable whenever we pull into our driveway. Each time I see our house I am reminded of what God has done. As we face new things, we try to stay focused on our gratitude for how God has already moved and blessed our lives. That leaves little to no room for fear to take hold.
Over time, God has redeemed other aspects of my life as well. As I previously mentioned, I shut my dad out of my life when I was 18 years old. When I was growing up, he had left our family, gotten arrested, lost his job as a police officer, and ended up homeless. Years later, I forgave him during that hiking trip when I had my mountain top experience with God. I convinced myself that I was past all of it; however, I still was not in contact with him.
When I was 36, I received a friend request from my dad on Facebook. By that point, almost two decades had gone by with no communication from him. Before I could accept the friend request, he removed it. It almost seemed symbolic of my relationship with my dad. He had inserted himself back into my life and then quickly stepped back out. At least that was how I kind of saw it.
One night, I was patting my special needs son to bed. As I was sitting there, comforting him, my phone lit up. I looked over and saw a long message from my dad via Facebook Messenger. The gist of it was that he’d been watching me from a distance, I guess through Facebook, over the years. Then he wrote, “I just want to let you know that I love you and I’m proud of you.”
My dad had never told me he loved me. As soon as I read those words I started balling. Looking back, I realized I always longed for that approval from my dad. I think we all likely long for that connection and approval from our parents. In that moment, at 36 years old, I finally got the healing that I needed.
God did not stop there though. During our first men’s retreat in Florida, my oldest son, who was about 16 at the time, came with me. He was my son who wanted to run away from home at age 8 because he thought I no longer loved him.
At that retreat, I got up and shared my story about what a jerk I was as a dad during that time. Afterward, my son got up to speak. The first thing he said was, “Everything my dad said about being a jerk is absolutely true.” He had confirmed the reality of how I was at the time.
My son then continued and shared his story. He spoke about how hard those years were with me. He also opened up about some other difficult trials he had gone through in his life. He did an amazing job and locked those guys in. Of course, I was over there crying because I was watching my son tell his story.
Before I went back up to the front to speak again, my son made a statement that I’ll never forget. He said, “You know, me and my dad used to have a really, really bad relationship, but right now I’d put my relationship with my dad up against anybody’s.” Those words just broke me. Our whole message was that God is a God of reconciliation. It was so humbling to see that again in my own life.
For me, I think everything I have gone through in life has really been a journey of God humbling me. He has made me realize how much I do depend on Him. I think that’s the summary of my whole story. God has really strengthened my faith. He broke me down really hard through this process to make me realize that I can’t do everything. I have to depend on Him.
I think my perspective has really changed over the years. I look at the hard questions like, “Why does God allow bad things?” Though I honestly don’t know why He allows everything He does, I do know my story. I can look back on that day in the hospital and now see how God has used it to lead others to Christ.
We have to remember that God has an eternal perspective that we don’t have. In some of the trials that we face, somebody may see the way we handle it as a Christian. We may never know the impact that will have. It’s not that I don’t still struggle or that I have everything figured out. I’m still growing and learning. But I have to trust God and try to embrace the hard things too, recognizing that He can use it in ways that I’m not aware of.
I think especially as men, we want to be in control, but I’ve realized that there’s so much freedom when we let go of that. For me, I grew up hearing the words “humble yourself before God.” It was a great phrase to hear, but when we really do that and experience that, or in my case when God kind of helps to humble you, it changes everything. I am now able to sit back instead of trying to take control. It’s a beautiful dependence on Him. It really is.
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