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Resilience In God: Raul's Faith Journey- Part 1
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Resilience In God: Raul's Faith Journey- Part 1

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Hi friends! On today’s episode of Draw Near to Me, we will be going over part 1 of Raul’s faith journey.  For those who prefer to read, today’s content is also posted below.  I recently met Raul during a short-term mission trip to Manos de Fe in Panama.  Raul joined our group at the mission site to serve as one of our translators.  He has been through a lot in his life, and in today’s and next week’s episodes we will share a glimpse of that.  Raul really has a heart for God and such an appreciation for everything around him.  It was awesome to see him in action while we were in Panama.  From translating our prayers to the families on the feeding program, to getting kids excited to learn about Jesus and to participate in field games at the elementary schools, to catching him speaking sweetly to his fiancé, who was also serving as a translator, Raul did all of it with God’s love.  It was an honor to learn a small part of how God formed him to be the person he is today.  Since this is a man’s testimony, I thought it would be fun to have Jeff, my husband, help out today so you could hear Raul’s story in a male voice. With that, let’s dive into Raul’s story. Enjoy!

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One of the things I wanted to share is that we have a Father in heaven that can heal our hearts.   He can heal all our thoughts, reveal good, and reestablish relationships with people who are important to us, even if those relationships were once fractured.  He is a mighty and powerful God. 

I was born in Venezuela and lived there until I was 19 years old.  My mother and father divorced when I was four months old.  I have step siblings, but I’m the only child from my mom and dad.  After my parents divorced, my mom moved to another part of the country to stay with my grandparents.   We lived with them until my mom bought a house, but they took care of me while she was working.  Ever since I was little, I lived with my mom.  My dad was not present during my day-to-day life, but my mom, praise God, made sure to always send me to his home during my vacations, so I at least knew him to some degree growing up. 

In 2012, when I was 19 years old, my mom and I left Venezuela.  We moved to Panama for a fresh start.  At the time, the political situation in Venezuela was very difficult; however, the real reason we moved was because of something I witnessed there. 

One day I was on a public bus, coming back home from my university, when two guys on the bus announced, “This is a robbery!”  They demanded all our possessions.  They wanted everything we had.  One guy inside the bus decided that he did not want to give them anything.  He refused to hand over a single thing.  The robbers were angered and decided to kill him then and there.  I was shocked.  I can still see that man’s blood.

When I arrived home, I told my mom that I could not see my future in Venezuela.  I had to move.  Once I figured out all my things, my mom and I decided to head to Panama since my uncle and aunt lived there.  My mom had a high position as the manager of a hospital, but she quit her job for us to move.  When she left, she went from being in a high position in her career to a low one.  She did not have anything.  At 19 years old, the roles in my home became reversed. I now had to get a job to become the provider for my mom and myself. 

I began to develop a heart of anger against my father.  I wondered, “Why do I have to pass through this kind of thing?  Why do I need to be the man of the house when I’m only 19?”  I was tired of being in charge of my environment and everything around me.  I felt I was in this situation because my father was not present in my life, and he did not provide a lot.  I spent five years in a storm because I had planted a seed of anger in my heart against my father.

So, from 2012, when we first moved to Panama, to 2017, I did not talk with my father.  I didn’t call him, and I tried not to even think about him because of my anger.  The bitterness in my heart grew over those five years and moved me to make many bad decisions.  I was doing drugs, drinking alcohol, and was involved with many girls.  I was only focused on having a job, providing, and telling my mom to let me live my life. 

During the middle of those chaotic five years, my mom started going to church.  In 2015 she surrendered her life to Jesus Christ.  She began praying for me daily.   I would see her on her knees every morning praying for me and my salvation.  Still over the next two years, I continued living a crazy life.  I was involved in many bad things.  I needed there to be forgiveness in my heart for my father, but at that time I had none.     

One night in 2017, I was with my mom and she started feeling very bad.  She began throwing up bile, and then she passed away.  I used to be in the Red Cross, so I had previously learned how to do CPR.  It was a tool God had given me to help me in that moment, even though I was not yet walking with Him.  He taught me to be resilient, so in that moment I took courage and began administering CPR on my mom.  Thankfully she revived. 

I immediately took my mom to the hospital.  When we arrived, I was telling the doctor that she passed away and that I did CPR.  I was urgently telling him that she was dehydrated, and they needed to take care of her immediately.   Don’t wait.  The doctor said that she was okay and that they would check on her in 45 minutes.  It was not soon enough.  Her vitals started fading and she was passing away again. 

I used to be an angry person about everything because I did not yet have the love of God in my heart, but at that moment I was really angry.   I took the doctor, picked him up, moved him out of the room, and almost punched him.  I told him, “Hey! You need to do something.  My mom is almost dying. Do something.”

The doctor did something.  He called the police.  When the police came, they kicked me out of the hospital.  For five hours I didn’t know how my mom was doing.  I felt deep in my heart that I was losing my treasure, because my mom was my treasure.  She raised me up, did many things for me, took care of me for everything, and taught me a lot of values.

I did not know what to do, but I remembered what I had seen my mom do for two years in a row.  So, during those five hours I put my knees on the ground, and I started praying like she did.  I prayed, “God if you want to save her, I’m here.  You could take me as a reward.  Send lightning.  Send somebody to kill me as a sacrifice.  Do something, but it’s better if she lives because she is a better person than me.  If you save her, if you let us live, then I’m going to serve you for the rest of my life.”  I don’t remember everything I prayed, but I remember that.

After five hours, a different doctor came out of the hospital and began to walk toward me.

To be continued.

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