Hi friends! On today’s episode of Draw Near to Me, we will dive back into Raul’s faith journey. For those who prefer to read, today’s content is also posted below. Raul contacted me after the last part of his story was complete because he was so excited and wanted to share more. It is an honor to be able to relay more of what God has done in his life to all of you. I love the transparency Raul has for something I think we have all done at some point, try to forge our own way that’s not necessarily God’s way. Yet, through it all, God continued to care for him and then called him again. Once again Jeff, my husband, will help today with the voice for Raul’s story. If you enjoy this post, please like it and share it with others using the share button below. With that, let’s dive into Raul’s story. Enjoy!
After I encountered Jesus, I got baptized and started serving with my church in 2017. I was a leader in youth ministry, and we took teams out to do mission work with different Panamanian tribes. Our church also had a ministry where we sponsored children in a school located in Panama City. It was in a dangerous neighborhood that had gangs in the vicinity. A year or two later, I was asked to be a teacher there.
Even though I had taught Bible school in my church, I had never been a schoolteacher. Regardless, I took the challenge and began to teach English to first graders. Soon, one of the other teachers in the school became pregnant and had to go on leave, so I was assigned additional subjects to teach to 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th graders.
One day I was teaching my students and noticed that they looked sad, scared, and like they had little sleep. I asked them what happened. My first graders responded, “Teacher, we are sad because yesterday there was a shooting around the buildings where we live. We did not sleep well because we slept on the floor, but we are okay. We are alive.” In that moment, my heart broke. I praised God that they were safe, and then prayed with them.
I began to walk the children from school to their homes in the neighborhood. We walked from one corner, through the middle of the neighborhood, and out to the other corner where they lived. All during the day of course. As I took my 11 kids across the neighborhood, some of them paused to show me where the shooting had occurred. I encouraged them to keep moving along.
Even though I stood out in the neighborhood as a clear outsider, God protected us the entire time. Every time I walked the kids through the streets, nothing ever happened. I don’t know if one of the older kids I taught was part of one of the gangs and they sheltered me, but either way, we always had safe passage. I would hear people saying, “The teacher is coming. The teacher is coming.” For the 6 months I worked there and walked the kids through the neighborhood, we were always safe.
After my time as a teacher, I met people from an organization called OM. They ran a ministry called Logos Hope, which was a big ship that had an enormous library with around 5,000 different titles. It was the biggest library on the ocean. The boat held about 400 people, and a hundred missionaries lived there. I dreamed of joining that ministry and being on the Logos Hope ship one day.
In the meantime, I started a job at a company and continued going to university. I had previously enrolled as a student in business administration in 2017. Although I thought about being a missionary, I was living my life as I directed. I was doing good things, but I was not out in the mission field.
In 2019, my family and I, like many others, were hit with the COVID pandemic. We had just moved to a new place in the province of Chiriquí, Panama. My mom and I were both working at the time the pandemic started, but then companies began to shut down or downsize. I was laid off from my job. I did not know what to do. Out of nowhere, a friend contacted me and asked me if I needed a job. He had opened a business delivering food to people during the pandemic, so I assisted with that. I also found some work with the Red Cross to provide vaccines. By the grace of God, I never got sick.
Even though I was making some money, it was not enough to cover all the expenses for my mom and me. My work was unstable, and my mom had also lost her job due to the pandemic. Our rent was about $500 a month, and each month we did not have enough money to pay our landlord. It was very difficult during COVID. Months went by where we were unable to pay.
Toward the end of our one-year lease, our landlord told us that we had to move out the next month because he needed the apartment. By then, we owed him almost $6,000, which we did not have. When we spoke with him, our landlord told us that although we had lived there the entire year without paying rent, he understood our situation. He said that he knew we did not have money, so we did not need to pay him for any of the rent we owed. He completely released us from our entire debt. The provision of God through that man was incredible.
We found another place to live. The company where I was previously employed called me up to offer me the same job from which I was laid off. I began working there again. During all the years since I came to Christ, 2018, 2019, and 2020, I had set aside my promise that I made to God. He was telling me to be a missionary, but I did not pay attention to Him. I was acting like Jonah in the Bible. I found myself my own work and walked in a different direction from where God was asking me to move.
In 2020, the company that rehired me began to go downhill. I was laid off once more. I was in my last semester of university and decided to keep living my life as I wanted. After I lost my job, I decided to take three days of rest and then find another one. I did my usual morning routine of going to the gym before heading over to my university. As I was working out, my friend called and said, “Hey brother, I need you to come translate with me. There are some groups doing missions here in this province.” I agreed and he picked me up the next day. Our first stop was Manos de Fe. From there we went to another mission site and to one of the Ngobe’s indigenous reservations. After that, he dropped me off at my house.
Since I did not rest the previous week as I had planned, I decided to wait three days again before I looked for a job. The first and second days I rested with my mom and grandparents at home. On the third day, I decided to go to the gym to lift weights. As I was doing a shoulder press, I suddenly felt a heaviness in my shoulders. It was not because of the weight itself; it was a different type of heaviness. It was almost like a spiritual heaviness, as if I was an ox with a yoke placed on it. I thought, “Whoa, what is happening here? Maybe I will do a different exercise.” This time, I decided to do a bench press. I had done it time and time again in the past with at least 50-pound weights on each side. When I tried to lift the weights, I could not lift anything. Not even the smallest one. Not 20 pounds or even 5 pounds.
I did not know what was going on. I started sweating a lot. After that, I decided to go back home. When I arrived, my mom saw me and immediately asked what happened. She saw that I was very white and pale. My mom told me to go lay down so she could take care of me.
I went and laid down on my bed, put my feet up, and began praying. I asked God what was going on. Why was this happening to me? I had been out on mission with Him the prior week. I did not understand. All I wanted to do was exercise and figure out what was going on with my life.
God then told me that He needed me in the mission field, but full time. I said, “No, Lord. I don’t want to. I don’t want to.” Then God repeated it so clearly that it was almost as if someone was talking in my ear. He said, “I need you in the mission field.”
To be continued.
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